reading

bible
Henry Huggins
the wind in the willows
pippi longstockings
percy jackson
a beka reading books

6 days till christmas

I woke to see a soft light snow falling the perfect kind of snow for walking in the woods dry and gentle .none of the house is up yet so it is peaceful and warm if a don't think about the messy rooms that need to be put in order and the piles of trash hubby must take to the dump.it will soon be Christmas and their is a lot to do but this time must be enjoyed too I still have little ones filled with magic hope and wonder and not so little ones experiencing their first glimpse of Christmas as a nearly there adult I don't want them to forget the magic of their childhood Christmas I want them to know the spirit of that magic lives in all of us and in spite of all the things us silly adults have turned this precious time of the year into it really is the most wonderful time of the year for our saviour was born and I want to celebrate that with all the glory I can muster

rambling

i don't know if this whole no caps not punctuating thing is really working for me or not i hate using caps because as i have said i don't type well at all how ever i'm a little worried that if someone where to try and read my blog they may not be able to with all the never ending sentences of course i am kind of hoping this blog could be just for me so now i guess i am rambling to myself good thing i am used to my own ramblings

november

it has been crazy around here with my sis and hers moving in and out i think?maybe who knows .mary turned one she is such a cutey but scared of everything we had her bday at the park she was scared of the ducks and the fountain she is also scared of the sound of passing cars and birds from in the house .she really likes her crayola music maker.

today is the day before thanksgiving so i will be cooking and cleaning we will be having

1. turkey
2. gravy
3. potatoes
4. dressing
5. sweet potatoes
6. green beans
7. noodles
8. pumpkin pie
9. carrot cake
10. relish tray
11. fruit tray
12. veggie tray and dip
13. cheese ball with crackers and salami
14. a couple of other desserts if i'm not to tired

i have already with the help of grace and ethan and aj made an ice cream cake for ajs b day he is getting his presents today even though he won't be 14 until monday but we will be at chuck e cheese on monday

so to recap in the last two weeks my sis and hers have moved in and out i think we have decorated and will be having thanksgiving and celebrating two bdays 3 times plus Christmas shopping running my nieces around to doctors and living every day life with my five

new years goals

I am turning 40 in exactly three months I can't change it I don't like it but its a fact this past year has been a good year watching my baby girl and all the joy my children bring to me and seeing my husband grow in Christ but for me personally and spiritually it has been one long disaster my body is way out of shape I have been called a grandmother twice at least this year by strangers my home has not been cleaned completely not even one time and the holidays are almost here!!!!!!!!!!! financially UGH! lets not even go there. so what comes first in fixing this mess?

1. GOD yes bible time and prayer time when things are going well when I am the calmest God is first we all know this but I have this ego that tells me I can handle life myself HA what a joke
2. fun with my kids my oldest will be 14 in one month in 4 short years he will be 18 how did this happen he is the joy of my life I don't want to let him go but he will go and the time I have left to really enjoy his sweet childhood is nearly gone so this is my hearts greatest desire to get this time with him and the sweet children who will one by one quickly follow him I HAVE WASTED THE YEARS AND I PRAY AND BEG AND PLEADED FOR FORGIVENESS how could it be i have been home every day sense he was born we have sacrificed a second income and we have choice to home school and still time has gotten away from me still there is so much i want to pour into my boy more than i can or ever will
3. my home i used to love to decorate as a child i loved to come home after school and either decorate my room or repaper and carpet my doll house my house does not feel like a home it does not look good it is uncomfortable to walk through it it doesn't sound like it should or smell like i want it to my children will wake to music and clean spaces bright with light and warmth filled with fresh clean smells I remember as a child waking to sunlight streaming in the window the sound of the washer whoosh whoosh whooshing the hum of the dryer and the clean smells of the cheer and downy filling the air my great grandma who raised me would be in the kitchen dressed in a fresh comfy dress preparing meals for the day she always had a tidy home and time for me to walk beside her OH TO BE LIKE THAT WOMAN it would be such a blessing AND HER CHILDREN CALL HER BLESSED that's is my grandma
4. my health this one alludes me it seems so simple eat less move more yet it is only 12:30 and i have already ate 5 cups of chili with cheese and cracker pretzels and a banana and have not been on the treadmill at all i know my doctor is going to give me the do you want to live lecture because i am still not taking my pcos med and really do not intend to do to the way they make me feel i am just going to have to remember I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH GOD WHO STRENGTHENS ME I PRAY HE WILL I KNOW HE CAN so that would be eat 1500 cals daily exercise an hour daily treadmill weights
5. and then there is the hard goals or choices like do we move or do we stay we have a great piece of land 10 acres woods hills pond field area and creek smallish but sturdy ranch style home huge garage lots of out building and a great old barn good house payment low taxes but still we are in debt i don't want to be in debt and we live way far from church my husbands work and what feels like home if i could just move this property its really a great property its in a great community but its not my community so WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO

blogging

it sure seemed like a good idea at the time i like to read some blogs i love to talk hate to type though i guess that should have been a clue but i still thought how fun to put my thoughts down as it turns out i am the most boring blogger probably in the history of blogging and i have a feeling all those moms who say they are not spending much time blogging might be a little delusional because i have no time to get on this blog i should right now be getting ready for church mary will be screaming any minute i don't know what we will have for lunch maybe the candy from the fall festival parade we attended yesterday

dreams

we all have dreams as a little girl i dreamed of having a house full of kids at least six but usually eight of course we always had plenty of money and no one ever got sick or disagreed with each other as i got older i ditched that dream for another the big city dream you know the I'm going to make it after all dream ah the power of t.v. it seems I've come full circle and returned to that which i first loved and now if only i could get the house clean and decorated this mess of a body in shape and adopt 3 more children i would be getting pretty close to the dream i wouldn't mind a lotto win either

I can't believe it is October already .Mary walks around everything is just full of wonder yet she seems to have some kind of allergy her little nose runs all the time i think it is food related because her diapers are always poopy.she was sick all of September .we still managed to camp at family camp and the kids had a great time it was kind of a fiasco for the rest of us though but we will do it again next year .
tony nick and Ethan went to a cubs game with a friend and had a great time .we also did the log cabins this fall
it has been raining for days.My niece Shelby had a baby c section on the 7th sovie deniese my other niece Korey is do in April with a boy we think.I would love to have more babies God willing.

jumbled

I just read a beautiful poem that my favorite blogger wrote and I remembered that I use to write beautiful poems I used to get so lost in the characters I wrote about that it was as if the stories where writing themselves now I can't even put together a grocery list my mind is as jumbled as the rooms of my house.

park

mary crawls now she can get around even better of course so the other kids will not be liking it for long.graceanne mary and i went on play date we met debbi ,jose, and briley at park. i took bubbles, play make up ,grass skirts, lays, bracelets ,cookies, water, and milk for the girls they had a lot of fun and i had some nice vent time with debbi.I so need to live more purposly although others may think the other wise.
i bought the cutest out fit at walmart it will probably fall apart bot it is black and says i believe in fairies in pink and silver who could resist.
tony took the boys swimming while we played .I brought them a pic nic lunch.nick had a friend over and we had pizza.
ethan is still sleeping with me and sayes he's not sleeping .I have been praying about it but am a little worried about his emotional stability right now .i do remember aj and nick having a lot of fears at this age and debbi expressed the same about jose.I am going to watch him and pray for him.
i have had four pretty good days sense i prayed to be heeled i have not done so well eating what i know is good for me .i woke up feeling pretty good again to day so i am happy about that.but almost broken over our my spending habits.

mary pulls up in her crib grace wears the same pink and brown sweat out fit for a week letting me wash it daily for her even though it is july we played at park watched ducks and turtles on pond awards night nick ethan and grace aj mary and i stayed home cooked dinner and watched afv aj likes his developing peck musc;es and has hard biceps nick wants a six pack so he does set ups all the time I FELT GOOD MOST OF THE DAY.B-3EGGSL-SEAFOOD SALAD PICKLE SMALL ICE CREAM CONE WITH CRUNCH D-8OZ COUNTRY FRIED STEAK 1 CUP MASHED POTATOES GRAVY SALAD

DUH

O.K. I've set up the blog and now all those post that have been playing out in my mind each day have simple vanished.
I really can't think of a thing to write about.
so I guess I will go to bed that is usually where I get my best ideas or at least the ones I can't let go of till morning.